Tuesday, April 14, 2009
I think I am the Worst Mom In The World!!
So lately Tracen has been going through some really tough times. I think he hit the terrible two's about 6 months early. He throws alot of fits, and he takes Hallies toys, just the usual stuff that a two year old does. But he has some MAJOR fits, I mean MAJOR. On Easter I needed him to eat some grapes for his dinner even if that was all he ate, (Due to some poop issues he was having) and he didnt think he needed to and so he started screaming and throwing a fit, and it wasnt his first one of the day so by this one I had had it. And I got so mad at him and he got a spankin, (let me make this clear, He hardly EVER gets a spankin or a time out but when he does he knows he is in trouble.) So he got a time-out and a spankin, and the whole rest of the entire day and night, I felt so terrible like I was the worst mom in the world. I even cried a little. Should I feel this way? Should I feel like I should not get mad at my kids? I dont know what to do with them. Im not good at this at all. So then on Monday, I was totally sucking up to Tracen cause I was so mad at myself for getting that upset with him, and then tonight when I put Hallie and Tracen in the tub Hallie decided to take some dolls in with her, and Tracen started telling the dollies to "Stop It" and he would turn them around and spank their butt. My heart seriously dropped, My eyes filled with tears, and immediately felt terible. Like I said Tracen has only gotten 4 maybe 5 spankins in the last year. I HATE getting mad at my kids, it is the worst. I want them to "like their mommy" and think I am a good mom. I dont want to be the "mean" mom. What do I do??? How do I let my kids know when they are doing something wrong? How do I disciplin them?? I seriously have no idea, I feel I am failing as a mom. Especially after what Tracen did in the bathtub to the doll. I love my kids so much, I want what is best for them. And even more than that I want to be the BEST MOM EVER. But I also want my kids to be well behaved, and not be naughty, but I want to be able to let my kids know when they have been naughty in a different way then time-outs and spankins. I need some help.
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7 comments:
Chels dont feel like that at all. You are such a GREAT mom!! You are giving me advice all the time. Seriously dont feel bad about disciplining your kids ever, even if that comes with the occasional spanking. Seriously, I know how hard it has to be to be mad at your kids but really it will be okay. They have to learn somehow. And I personally think its much better to spank them every once in a while than letting them be the type that the parents have absolutely NO control and they walk all over them.
I have the same struggles. I always feel guilty after getting mad at my kids, but they need a parent not a friend. I cry a lot too after getting upset, but then I usually try and talk to the kids about why I got so upset. Gillian will talk with me, but Dax just ignores me. I'm learning that 2 is such a harder age for Dax then it was with Gillian. Good luck, and just know that you are not the only person who feels this way.
Oh Chels you are a great mom! Don't feel bad, you're doing a good job! I guess I can't give any advice because Easton hasn't been through this yet, but I'm sure when he does I'll be asking you for advice! I think you're doing the right thing, though. Kids really do need discipline and order and you're actually helping Tracen by teaching him self-discipline. There was a talk in conference about how important it is to teach our children that they don't get everything they want and it will help them a lot as they become adults. You're doing great and someday you'll look back at this time and laugh! Or maybe at least smile a little :)
Chels, did you forget you are going to Disneyland? Holy smokes!!! I am so excited for you. You are a great mom, I love that you post on here the little everyday stuff that you go through, I love to know I am not the only one. I am the "mean" mom at our house, but dad is NOT a discipliner (is that a word?). I feel like you, that I want to be the best, and never have to get mad at my kids, but how will they learn if they don't make a few mistakes, and have to take the consequence for them. Don't be hard on yourself, you are amazing, and your kids love you still. Have fun in Disneyland!! :)
Oh my Hell Chels if you want to see worst mom ever come spend a few hours, no wait minutes at my house. Really I sometimes am borderline child abuse and i don't fell a bit bad. So you know now that I'm the worst mom ever. So be of good cheer and hang in there. I keep hearing they will respect you in the long run if they know you mean business. What ever makes me sleep at night, right.
My husband was never disciplined as a kid and he had a really rough childhood because of it. He says almost daily how much he wished he would have had some rules and consequences when he was growing up. It's good for them! It's hard for us, I know how you feel too. But it's nice to be able to see Josh and KNOW I don't want Peyton to have to go through the same things he did to get the point. You are a great mom, don't worry!
So I know how you feel. I often have my melt downs and just freak out on them. The one thing you have to remember is they will always love you no matter what. If they don't learn discipline now they will learn how to walk all over you when they get older. Kids are so forgiving and they need to learn when they are being naughty. This age is so hard I am having the same issues with Seth. It will pass. I am sure you are a wonderful mommy and they love you. Don't let this get you down. I think all moms know how you are feeling.
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